Saying "LIKE" all the time

You. YEAH YOU. If you're a female between the ages of 13-30, chances are you need a fucking thesaurus. Why is it that women, ESPECIALLY women when they are teenagers, can't seem to speak fluently or hold a conversation without blathering "like" every other word?

Girl: And so like, he texted me, and like, told me he was gonna break up with me.
Me: Please... stop.
Girl: but I was like, "not if I break up with you first".
Me: Here you go, please read this thesaurus *hands the dumb bitch a thesaurus*
Girl: and like, he accused me of cheating on him, but it was like, one time when I was really drunk.

Girl: and like, we used protection, so like, why doesn't he forgive me?
Me: ...
Girl: So like, screw him, ya know? I can have, like, any guy I want!

Seriously, learn to convey and express yourself in a manner that doesn't sound like a verbal third trimester abortion. I don't know where this shit started, but I would put money on educational programs such as Teen Mom and Jersey Shore being the culprits.

This is an official call out to all the dumb bitches everywhere. If you want to rid yourself of the garbage that comes out of your mouth, do this:

Get a plane ticket to Washington, D.C., snag a cab ride over to the Lincoln Memorial (don't talk to the cab driver, you'll just piss him off), walk up the stairs, enter the memorial, turn to your left. Grab a chair and recite the Gettysburg Address repeatedly, until you have been purged of all verbal ignorance. Then, MAYBE THEN, will you be taken a bit more seriously. Oh, and for shits sake, calm down on the fake baking... but hey, that's another post.